Here is my interpretation:
"Imagine opening the Wonka Chocolate Bar, and finding the GOLDEN TICKET, which allows you a one of a kind admission, into a wonderland filled with things only thought to be in the imagination!
One of a kind, because the place wont be able to afford to stay open 7 days a week
Well, he is your chance...
He is?
A lifetime in the making, and ten years in the creation, the RANDYLAND Amusements Museum, is heading down the home stretch for opening.
...For the summer
Hidden inside of the former Woolworth's 5 & 10 cent Department Store,
Thank god its hidden the massive collection of Amusement Machines, and varied artifacts fill the floors, walls and ceiling.
Artifacts like Chuck E Cheese tokens, rusty nails, and a couple screwdrivers.
Jersey Shore, Walt Disney World, Coney Island, Asbury Park, Palace Amusements, Keansburg Amusement Park, Seaside Heights, Atlantic City, Long Branch, Brigenten, Wildwood...
And thousands of other places better than this place! Hidden treasures of the imagination, and items some collectors would kill for, all waiting inside!
...and waiting, and waiting
For years, people have peeked in the windows, trying to catch a glimpse inside; others have attempted wiggling their way in with little success !!
So they can jack his shit and rob the place
This auction, is for the Golden Ticket, that will get you a personal private tour. The tour will be conducted by the Dreamer and Creator himself, and will walk you through the winding pathways which circle within the 10,000 square foot complex
surrounding the 500 sq. ft arcade and adjacent snack bar
Up and down the inside boardwalk stairways, your eyes will be very busy trying to focus in on the many wonderful items inside.
Hasnt Applebees and Chili's restaurants already done that?
The tour should take about an hour,
unfortunately, with the Tour Guide pointing out varied items of interest.
Like the exit signs
Do you like sub sandwiches? This auction also includes a free lunch at the original Woolworth's Lunch Counter, still house within the complex, and a part of the tour.
I wouldnt have bought the ticket if they didnt include a 5 dollar foot long
And if your really nice to the Wonderland Host, maybe, he will include a special sneak preview of his UNRELEASED, feature film; Mr. Fascination !!
And if you arent nice, he will MAKE you sit through it.
That will take another one and one half hours to view !!
So my whole day has been blown to shit
And as if that is not enough; YOU as the special guest
me?, will get to take home your VERY OWN, MR. FASCINATION BOBBLE HEAD, complete in the full color box !! (a $60.00 value if purchased separately).
WOW! The box is in color too?! Deal!
Paypal payment must be made within 5 days of auction end. Date and time of the tour, is subject to agreement between the buyer and the seller, and must be between the hours of 12 noon and 12 midnight of the day selected, and within 6 months of the auction end..
..because I cant figure out an open day when I dont have to take care of my 3 cats while my boyfriend is at work at the strip club
Transportation to and from the location in Wildwood, NJ is solely at the buyer's own expense, and buy agrees to hold the seller and the property owner without liability of any kind for loss or personal injury while on the location; cameras or recording devices or any kind are not permitted, other then those under possession and control of the location and the seller.
No carpooling. I only drive a Tercel. And since I have all these fabulous works of art, I cant afford security cameras, so sucks to be you if you get your shit jacked. By me.
Buyer must present two-forms of valid and current photo ID at the time of arrival, and the seller is solely responsible for any and all damages, if any, created as fault of the seller while on the property.
So dont play anything, dont touch anything, roll the Skee balls gently (Dont roll past the 40 target), and take your shoes off before you come inside.
Additional guests may accompany the "ticket holder", at an additional cost equal to the cost paid by the auction winner, per person, under the same conditions of the auction winner who must be present with the group; however, the seller reserves the right to refuse entry to any person or persons for any reason and at his own discretion; entrance may be limited to persons in number at the discretion of the property owner and/or city or state regulations.
You may have paid my rent for the month with my $100 'ticket,' but your child has to stay home, and if you dont like Flippers Fascination, then fuck off and stay out.
All proceeds benefit the Museum development and operation fund;
Charity begins at home
If you care to make a donation to the Museum development fund, you may email
[email protected] .for friends of the museum information.
Seriously, this building is expensive. I cant afford to keep all the games on at one time.
Pictures above are of the Creator and just a fraction of the machines and items that can be found inside.
The larger fraction.