I used to be Chuck E. Cheese

darthphunk

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I promise everyone I will take my own life, before I ever do this job for a living.

Gozer posted this response in the other Chuck E Cheese thread which made me decide to share a few storied with you fine folks.

Fun Fact:

I was Chuck E. Cheese when I was 16-ish... for like a year.

It was actually pretty awesome for the most part. You're in a costume so you get to act a fool and nobody knows who you are. I was the dishwasher... which also meant I was Chuck. About a month after I started working there, they let me do the suit a lot since I was so good at it. Pretty soon that's really all I did. I made pizza occasionally and washed a few dishes now and then, but mostly I was the rat... and occasionally Mr. Munch.

a few months later, they started doingt he whole Chuck E. Live thing where they danced around to choreographed music for Bday parties. It was actually pretty fun.

TWO FUN STORIES

The first story in which I was punched

I worked at the Chuck E Cheese in my home town, which is pretty small as Chuck E Cheese's go so I got to spend a lot of time with people. I was pretty interactive with everyone like you see Chuck being in the commercials, not like the person who obviously doesn't want to be there and just walks in a circle and waves... holding one side of the helmet because it doesn't fit right. I played air hockey with the kids, played pop-a-shot, I'd shove a kid out of the way on a redemption game and win him an assload of tickets, I'd throw handfuls of tokens at the feet of crowds of kids, I'd pal around with the parents. It was usually very well received.

CEC serving alcohol was a fairly recent development when I worked there. Kids would go spend a million tokens, and parents would drink a million beers.

I was playing air hockey with a kid and an obviously inebriated parent came up and put his arm around me. "Awwww man CHUCKE FUKKIN CHEEEESE!!! I Fugggin LOVE you man!" I wasn't allowed to talk in the suit, so I pantomimed return affection and put my arm around him and gave him a hi-five. He laughed and again confessed his love for me. He said "Chuck you're all kinds of all-right" and put up his fists and started pretend punching me in the stomach.

I reciprocated with a super slow pretend "aww shucks" punch to the arm... which didn't even connect, or resemble a punch really.

His demeanor immediately changed from "I FUCKING LOVE CHUCK E CHEESE" to "I FUCKING HATE CHUCK E CHEESE"

His smile disappeared and turned into a dagger stare. He stood straight up. I was looking into his eyes through the grill of Chuck's plastic smile, he was looking into dead plastic eyes somewhere near my forehead.

It what seemed like it must have been several minutes, we just stared at each other motionless. Then it hit me. His right hook.

BAM!

My mask spun around backwards and I staggered around dazed for a second before another employee grabbed me, turned my head around, and rushed me in the back. Parents were yelling, kids were crying, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA.

Now the inside of a Chuck helmet has a brace like a welding mask. A band that ratchets around your head, and a strap under my chin. The whole thing broke and tweaked my neck pretty good.

My manager watched the whole thing unfold. And in reality, things went from mirth and merriment in a matter of seconds, not minutes.

They tossed his ass out immediately and banned him and his family. I don't know why cops weren't called or why I didn't press charges. I was young, dumb, and full of pizza.

I got workmans comp and a funny story to tell.



The second story in which my head caught on fire

One of the cool things I got to do as the rat was go to events where people paid Chuck to walk around and interact with the kids. It was a great change of pace from the restaurant. I got to go to the state fair, a few block parties... and one time I got to go to a neighborhood associations policeman picnic ... thing.

My friend and I parked down the street and I got out and started getting in the costume. This was early in my Chuck career so it was an older suit. It had a tail and the helmet was fiberglass and basically just sat on your shoulders.

I suited up and walked into the shindig. The predictable group of kids ran up and I handed out hi-fives and held on to my tail so they wouldn't pull it off. My friend handed out coupons for free shit... we were doing our thing.

We walked towards where the police set up a few tables with crime prevention pamphlets, badge stickers and pencils for kids, things like that. The police were really happy that I was there for some reason. "HEEEEY!!! CHUCKY!!!!!" *clap clap* no less than 5 cops had their picture taken with me. I really didn't know what to do but wave. It was the only time I really felt uncomfortable in the costume. Not becuase I dislikes police, but they had their arms around me all buddy buddy and I didn't know if I was allowed to touch them or not... plus they had guns. I felt like those pictures of the nerd guys at gaming conventions who get their pic taken with the hot booth girls where they stand close to the nerd, and the nerd hovers his hand and arm precariously above the girls delicate skin... afraid of the consequences of unfamiliar contact.

After a few pics with grinning cop mustaches I was approached by another cop that said, "Hey Chuck! Want to ride in the hot air balloon?"

Zuh?

I turned around and lo and behold... a big ass hot air balloon was tethered to a few police SUV's.

I quickly shook my head no... forgetting that they couldn't see that gesture since the helmet sat on my shoulders. My head could have been wildly flopping from side to side and no one would know it. Before I could waggle my shoulders to signal "Fuck no" my friend said "HE SURE DOES!!!"

My response of "WHAT?!?!?!" was muffled by my mask. Before I knew it... I was literally being hoisted up off of my feet by the 6 or so cops I was taking pictures with. A short jaunt, and I was basically tossed into the wicker basket of the balloon. I got to my feet in a panic, and the operator said, "Don't worry, we're just going to go up a little ways. We're staying tethered to the trucks."

Now I don't have a fear of heights really... and I wasn't necessarily afraid of being in a hot air balloon... I was afraid of falling to my death dressed as a rat with a hat on.

"Alright... here we go" the pilot said.

He pulled the cord to light the burner.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH... that's the best I can type the sound of a 3 foot long flame.

Up we went. It wasn't bad really. I was nervous at first then I started to relax. I was hanging over the edge waving at the people below. The kids were losing their shit. "LOOK LOOK CHICKY IS IN THE AIR AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!". It w3as actually pretty cool We were only 3 or four stories up and he lit the burner again.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

"OH SHIT!"

My heart fluttered. That's not something you want to hear a hot air balloon operator shot while you are up in the air. Before I could turn around, he shoved me to the ground. I wasn't sure what was going on... but he was slapping my mask and he threw his jacket over me. About a minute later he asked if I was OK. I sat up and the mask rolled off of my shoulders. I said "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!". I looked over, and Chuck's ear was black and burned to a crisp. Most of the hair on the back and right side of the helmet were melted.

The pilot got on his walkie talkie and had the police make a kid free path to they didn't see a horribly disfigured anthropomorphic rat shamble through their fun party.

I walked back to the car and I took the rest of the day off. I have not been in another hot air balloon.


More to come later. Mostly stories related to working there NOT in the rat suit.
 
Good read! Sounds like you had a lot of fun dressed up as Chuck E. Cheese though, I never knew that the restaurant even served alcohol. Guess they stopped after too many incidents like yours happened.

Would love to hear the rest of the stories, haha!
 
This thread is off to a great start.
More stories please. Hilarious so far.
 
Great story man! Glad to hear when people enjoy what they do. Always nice, when someone can make the best if a job and find the good in it. Sounds like you were great at being Chucky and I am sure many a kid remembers you and the rat fondly.
 
Really funny stuff.

My friend worked at Showbiz and walked around as Billy Bob. Some kids would kick him and throw tokens at him he just gave out. He'd sometimes get pissed and start talking to him which they would usually run away.
 
Great stories. The alcohol story reminds me of so many at my bar. It's amazing how some people just snap after a few drinks especially whiskey.
 
Rep points just for admitting you worked at CEC as Chuck E.
 
The third story in which a little shit shit in the ball pit

One of the jobs that people did was work the floor. You'd walk around with a bleach water rag cleaning tables, taking mental notes of order numbers on tables so you could deliver food when it was ready, give games a once over and call over the service tech if need be.

I was in the kitchen when a friend asked me to come help him out.

We walked over to the little kids section, the one with the toddler rides and super easy ticket games and the play area. This was early on when it was just a giant pit with balls. There was a net around to keep the balls in, but that was it. No plastic tubes, no slides. Just balls. Balls everywhere... and the kids LOVED it.

I got to the area and my friend stood there and said, "Jesus... do you smell that? I can't find where it's coming from!" I lifted my nose in to the air and whiffed slightly... and it felt like my face got raped by a bear. "OH MY GOD! What IS that?!?!" It seriously smelled like someone lit a firestone dealership in fire, threw cabbage at it, and threw a port-a-potty on it for good measure.

We looked EVERYWHERE. we looked in the spaces where we've seen kids crawl min and out of, we looked in the helicopter ride, we even had the service tech come over and make sure none of the motors on any of the rides or animatronic dogs were on fire.

We were about to give up, when we noticed the ball pit.

Kids were carrying on with their business, screaming, jumping in and out, balls flying everywhere... except for one spot.

One spot of balls stayed suspiciously still. Kids were pushing balls around and it was like a sea of color undulating and gyrating... except for one motionless area of balls.

The three of us looked at eachother, and lowered our heads in defeat. We knew where the smell was coming from... and we knew that we would be the ones to clean it up. He who smelt it... had to wash the balls.

It was pretty close to closing time, so we called all of the kids out, and closed the entrance to the ball pit. It was a weekday evening so it was pretty slow. We waited till closing to start working on it.

After everyone had left and we closed the front doors, the three of us stood in fear at what monster we were about to face. "... I'll go get some gloves" my friend said. "I'll... uhh... I don't know" the serviceman said. "I'll go get a stick" I said. I went into the back, and I twisted a mop handle off of a mop head and I went back to the ball pit. We went to the side where the stink was emanating from. We dodn't know what to expect. All we knew was there was enough human excrement to hold a small group of balls together. I gently slid the mop handle in through the netting and began to poke.

*poke*

*poke*

*THUD*

There it was. That was the spot. I pushed that area with the mop handle to get an idea of how many balls were affected. Oh god. The shit/ball creation was the size of a basketball. How is that possible? Someone must have let a fully grown Gorilla into the ball pit without our knowledge.

We all sobbed a little and got to work.

My friend wrapped his legs up with garbage bags, and started to wade in. He reached in with his gloved hands and grabbed the shitball. THERE WAS SO MUCH. It's like someone came there with the sole purpose of taking a dump in the ball pit. He stuffed it in a garbage bag and handed it to me. Gagging, I placed it outside.

There was a lot of collateral damage. We needed to go talk to the boss. Our manager was a complete asshole. Nobody liked talking to him. We let him know of the status and the three of us agreed that the balls should probably be thrown away. "WE CAN'T DO THAT!!! Do you know how much that will cost for new balls?" he said.

"But... but they are literally covered in shit. Like real actual shit."

"I don't care. They need to be cleaned"

There was no arguing with this guy... so we removed the shit covered garbage bags we were wearing and sat down to formulate a plan. We decided that since I had a small truck, I should probably take all of the balls to a self service car wash and wash the shitty balls while the other two stayed behind and bleached the vinyl lining of the ball pit.

And so it was. I loaded up about half of the shitballs into garbage bags and into the back of my truck. I went to the Splash N' Dash, popped in about 5 dollars worth of quarters (courtesy of the asshole manager) and started blasting the shitballs with the high pressure soap setting. My truck had a canopy so I was able to keep most of the balls in check. It was like a tornado of evil back there. Swirling hot colored balls, poop, and soap hopping around in the back of my truck. It was like an evil clowns dishwasher.

3 trips later, I had several garbage bags full of shit free balls.

They had successfully sanitized the pit, we poured the balls back in, and we went home at 2:30AM.
 
The third story in which a little shit shit in the ball pit

One of the jobs that people did was work the floor. You'd walk around with a bleach water rag cleaning tables, taking mental notes of order numbers on tables so you could deliver food when it was ready, give games a once over and call over the service tech if need be.

I was in the kitchen when a friend asked me to come help him out.

We walked over to the little kids section, the one with the toddler rides and super easy ticket games and the play area. This was early on when it was just a giant pit with balls. There was a net around to keep the balls in, but that was it. No plastic tubes, no slides. Just balls. Balls everywhere... and the kids LOVED it.

I got to the area and my friend stood there and said, "Jesus... do you smell that? I can't find where it's coming from!" I lifted my nose in to the air and whiffed slightly... and it felt like my face got raped by a bear. "OH MY GOD! What IS that?!?!" It seriously smelled like someone lit a firestone dealership in fire, threw cabbage at it, and threw a port-a-potty on it for good measure.

We looked EVERYWHERE. we looked in the spaces where we've seen kids crawl min and out of, we looked in the helicopter ride, we even had the service tech come over and make sure none of the motors on any of the rides or animatronic dogs were on fire.

We were about to give up, when we noticed the ball pit.

Kids were carrying on with their business, screaming, jumping in and out, balls flying everywhere... except for one spot.

One spot of balls stayed suspiciously still. Kids were pushing balls around and it was like a sea of color undulating and gyrating... except for one motionless area of balls.

The three of us looked at eachother, and lowered our heads in defeat. We knew where the smell was coming from... and we knew that we would be the ones to clean it up. He who smelt it... had to wash the balls.

It was pretty close to closing time, so we called all of the kids out, and closed the entrance to the ball pit. It was a weekday evening so it was pretty slow. We waited till closing to start working on it.

After everyone had left and we closed the front doors, the three of us stood in fear at what monster we were about to face. "... I'll go get some gloves" my friend said. "I'll... uhh... I don't know" the serviceman said. "I'll go get a stick" I said. I went into the back, and I twisted a mop handle off of a mop head and I went back to the ball pit. We went to the side where the stink was emanating from. We dodn't know what to expect. All we knew was there was enough human excrement to hold a small group of balls together. I gently slid the mop handle in through the netting and began to poke.

*poke*

*poke*

*THUD*

There it was. That was the spot. I pushed that area with the mop handle to get an idea of how many balls were affected. Oh god. The shit/ball creation was the size of a basketball. How is that possible? Someone must have let a fully grown Gorilla into the ball pit without our knowledge.

We all sobbed a little and got to work.

My friend wrapped his legs up with garbage bags, and started to wade in. He reached in with his gloved hands and grabbed the shitball. THERE WAS SO MUCH. It's like someone came there with the sole purpose of taking a dump in the ball pit. He stuffed it in a garbage bag and handed it to me. Gagging, I placed it outside.

There was a lot of collateral damage. We needed to go talk to the boss. Our manager was a complete asshole. Nobody liked talking to him. We let him know of the status and the three of us agreed that the balls should probably be thrown away. "WE CAN'T DO THAT!!! Do you know how much that will cost for new balls?" he said.

"But... but they are literally covered in shit. Like real actual shit."

"I don't care. They need to be cleaned"

There was no arguing with this guy... so we removed the shit covered garbage bags we were wearing and sat down to formulate a plan. We decided that since I had a small truck, I should probably take all of the balls to a self service car wash and wash the shitty balls while the other two stayed behind and bleached the vinyl lining of the ball pit.

And so it was. I loaded up about half of the shitballs into garbage bags and into the back of my truck. I went to the Splash N' Dash, popped in about 5 dollars worth of quarters (courtesy of the asshole manager) and started blasting the shitballs with the high pressure soap setting. My truck had a canopy so I was able to keep most of the balls in check. It was like a tornado of evil back there. Swirling hot colored balls, poop, and soap hopping around in the back of my truck. It was like an evil clowns dishwasher.

3 trips later, I had several garbage bags full of shit free balls.

They had successfully sanitized the pit, we poured the balls back in, and we went home at 2:30AM.
That is a seriously shitty situation.

as for Chucky getting punched, well, thats just a side effect of the alcohol. I remember back when I was younger (20s-30s) after about a six-pack I always wanted to punch the cartoon characters parading around whenever I was at the amusement parks
 
The third story in which a little shit shit in the ball pit

"But... but they are literally covered in shit. Like real actual shit."


Good Lord those ball pits have always grossed me out. I always wondered what happens when some kid poops or pukes in there, not to mention the daily addition of snot, boogers, spit and whatever else.
 
I love this thread. I could tell all kinds of funny Mall Security (my job through college) stories or some horrible Prison (my short lived after college job) stories. Too bad they have nothing to do with arcades or amusement establishments.
 
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