darthphunk
Active member
I promise everyone I will take my own life, before I ever do this job for a living.
Gozer posted this response in the other Chuck E Cheese thread which made me decide to share a few storied with you fine folks.
Fun Fact:
I was Chuck E. Cheese when I was 16-ish... for like a year.
It was actually pretty awesome for the most part. You're in a costume so you get to act a fool and nobody knows who you are. I was the dishwasher... which also meant I was Chuck. About a month after I started working there, they let me do the suit a lot since I was so good at it. Pretty soon that's really all I did. I made pizza occasionally and washed a few dishes now and then, but mostly I was the rat... and occasionally Mr. Munch.
a few months later, they started doingt he whole Chuck E. Live thing where they danced around to choreographed music for Bday parties. It was actually pretty fun.
TWO FUN STORIES
The first story in which I was punched
I worked at the Chuck E Cheese in my home town, which is pretty small as Chuck E Cheese's go so I got to spend a lot of time with people. I was pretty interactive with everyone like you see Chuck being in the commercials, not like the person who obviously doesn't want to be there and just walks in a circle and waves... holding one side of the helmet because it doesn't fit right. I played air hockey with the kids, played pop-a-shot, I'd shove a kid out of the way on a redemption game and win him an assload of tickets, I'd throw handfuls of tokens at the feet of crowds of kids, I'd pal around with the parents. It was usually very well received.
CEC serving alcohol was a fairly recent development when I worked there. Kids would go spend a million tokens, and parents would drink a million beers.
I was playing air hockey with a kid and an obviously inebriated parent came up and put his arm around me. "Awwww man CHUCKE FUKKIN CHEEEESE!!! I Fugggin LOVE you man!" I wasn't allowed to talk in the suit, so I pantomimed return affection and put my arm around him and gave him a hi-five. He laughed and again confessed his love for me. He said "Chuck you're all kinds of all-right" and put up his fists and started pretend punching me in the stomach.
I reciprocated with a super slow pretend "aww shucks" punch to the arm... which didn't even connect, or resemble a punch really.
His demeanor immediately changed from "I FUCKING LOVE CHUCK E CHEESE" to "I FUCKING HATE CHUCK E CHEESE"
His smile disappeared and turned into a dagger stare. He stood straight up. I was looking into his eyes through the grill of Chuck's plastic smile, he was looking into dead plastic eyes somewhere near my forehead.
It what seemed like it must have been several minutes, we just stared at each other motionless. Then it hit me. His right hook.
BAM!
My mask spun around backwards and I staggered around dazed for a second before another employee grabbed me, turned my head around, and rushed me in the back. Parents were yelling, kids were crying, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA.
Now the inside of a Chuck helmet has a brace like a welding mask. A band that ratchets around your head, and a strap under my chin. The whole thing broke and tweaked my neck pretty good.
My manager watched the whole thing unfold. And in reality, things went from mirth and merriment in a matter of seconds, not minutes.
They tossed his ass out immediately and banned him and his family. I don't know why cops weren't called or why I didn't press charges. I was young, dumb, and full of pizza.
I got workmans comp and a funny story to tell.
The second story in which my head caught on fire
One of the cool things I got to do as the rat was go to events where people paid Chuck to walk around and interact with the kids. It was a great change of pace from the restaurant. I got to go to the state fair, a few block parties... and one time I got to go to a neighborhood associations policeman picnic ... thing.
My friend and I parked down the street and I got out and started getting in the costume. This was early in my Chuck career so it was an older suit. It had a tail and the helmet was fiberglass and basically just sat on your shoulders.
I suited up and walked into the shindig. The predictable group of kids ran up and I handed out hi-fives and held on to my tail so they wouldn't pull it off. My friend handed out coupons for free shit... we were doing our thing.
We walked towards where the police set up a few tables with crime prevention pamphlets, badge stickers and pencils for kids, things like that. The police were really happy that I was there for some reason. "HEEEEY!!! CHUCKY!!!!!" *clap clap* no less than 5 cops had their picture taken with me. I really didn't know what to do but wave. It was the only time I really felt uncomfortable in the costume. Not becuase I dislikes police, but they had their arms around me all buddy buddy and I didn't know if I was allowed to touch them or not... plus they had guns. I felt like those pictures of the nerd guys at gaming conventions who get their pic taken with the hot booth girls where they stand close to the nerd, and the nerd hovers his hand and arm precariously above the girls delicate skin... afraid of the consequences of unfamiliar contact.
After a few pics with grinning cop mustaches I was approached by another cop that said, "Hey Chuck! Want to ride in the hot air balloon?"
Zuh?
I turned around and lo and behold... a big ass hot air balloon was tethered to a few police SUV's.
I quickly shook my head no... forgetting that they couldn't see that gesture since the helmet sat on my shoulders. My head could have been wildly flopping from side to side and no one would know it. Before I could waggle my shoulders to signal "Fuck no" my friend said "HE SURE DOES!!!"
My response of "WHAT?!?!?!" was muffled by my mask. Before I knew it... I was literally being hoisted up off of my feet by the 6 or so cops I was taking pictures with. A short jaunt, and I was basically tossed into the wicker basket of the balloon. I got to my feet in a panic, and the operator said, "Don't worry, we're just going to go up a little ways. We're staying tethered to the trucks."
Now I don't have a fear of heights really... and I wasn't necessarily afraid of being in a hot air balloon... I was afraid of falling to my death dressed as a rat with a hat on.
"Alright... here we go" the pilot said.
He pulled the cord to light the burner.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH... that's the best I can type the sound of a 3 foot long flame.
Up we went. It wasn't bad really. I was nervous at first then I started to relax. I was hanging over the edge waving at the people below. The kids were losing their shit. "LOOK LOOK CHICKY IS IN THE AIR AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!". It w3as actually pretty cool We were only 3 or four stories up and he lit the burner again.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
"OH SHIT!"
My heart fluttered. That's not something you want to hear a hot air balloon operator shot while you are up in the air. Before I could turn around, he shoved me to the ground. I wasn't sure what was going on... but he was slapping my mask and he threw his jacket over me. About a minute later he asked if I was OK. I sat up and the mask rolled off of my shoulders. I said "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!". I looked over, and Chuck's ear was black and burned to a crisp. Most of the hair on the back and right side of the helmet were melted.
The pilot got on his walkie talkie and had the police make a kid free path to they didn't see a horribly disfigured anthropomorphic rat shamble through their fun party.
I walked back to the car and I took the rest of the day off. I have not been in another hot air balloon.
More to come later. Mostly stories related to working there NOT in the rat suit.



