It's time we finally address what no one wants to talk about:
Those "innocent" plastic pumpkins your grandma put on her porch in 1987?
Yeah. Tools of ancient pagan chaos magic.
Those cheerful little ghosts with lightbulbs in their butts?
Try spiritual conduits for Beelzebub himself.
You think you're decorating for Halloween?
Wrong. You're summoning seasonal demons with every plug-in skeleton and glow-in-the-dark black cat.
Let's connect the dots:
Pumpkins = ancient pagan symbols of harvest sacrifice.
Light inside pumpkin = guiding spirits through the veil = literal ghost GPS.
Blow mold plastic = petrochemical tribute to the underworld.
The 80s = peak Satanic Panic. Coincidence? Wake up.
Next time you dust off your vintage Dracula with the orange cord from the attic, ask yourself:
"Is this nostalgia… or necromancy?"
Stay safe this Halloween.
And remember: just because it's smiling, doesn't mean it's not possessed.





