Feels like I am gonna be out of the hobby for a while

[Deadly]

Trying to get kids away from their sperm or egg donor is an uphill battle. I commend you for stepping up like this. Please prepare yourselves mentally because she can take those kids away from you so quickly and their ain't shit you can do about it. I've seen pictures of mothers passed out in their own vomit, GROSS house (ashtrays a mile high and garbage taking up half the house and sheet rock missing off the walls with nails sticking out of them. While the father was a CPA and the stepmother worked for the state. The mother still got custody of the kids. My oldest brother is a cop. He sits through court sessions all day long and tells me all the court system failures he witnesses on a daily basis. Bah the legal system is a joke. I could write hours of material of my own custody battle stories - it never ended well for the me or my kid.

All you can do is call DHS (or whatever it's called there) and file a complaint of neglect. Most of the time the mother will get a warning and a second offense the children could be taken away. Again it's fairly easy for the mother to regain custody pleading she's changed.

And I'd rather see you spend your money on kids in the U.S.A. instead of fighting world hunger or providing money to these freaking relief funds where 1/3 of the funds actually "might" make it through.

TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN PEOPLE and let the other governments work through their own damn issues!!!!!!!!!

 

[krfkeith]

I hope I'm not bumping a thread that's too old, but seeing as how the last post was only yesterday as of me writing this, I think its ok.

Having been only recently, umm, evicted, from a terrible situation from father (currently, 17, I was literally kicked out of the house, now living with my mother), I can feel for those kids. Difference being, my father was incredibly wealthy, but still managed to leech money from my mother for child support, and would spend it all on expensive clothes for his wife. I was literally not allowed to eat much of the time, had to sneak food into my room. I was not given CLOTHES for Christ's sake. Finally, they tired of me, so they pretty much literally kicked me out on the streets when I tried to stand up for (autistic) brother against their abuses. Unfortunately, he, and my sister are still having to deal with their ridiculousness. Anyhow, my point in writing was all of this, is to say, that trust me, you have a HUGE legal hurdle ahead of you. My mom has been trying to get custody of us for over 5 years, with no luck. Despite numerous documented examples of abuse, he STILL has legal custody of all of us (including me). In essence, when you have money, you can throw as much as you want in any direction and basically always get your way. Now, I know your sister is not rich or anything, but I've seen too many examples of courts refusing to take away children from homes of blatant drug addicts. I wish you the best of luck, and I truly hope everything works out, so these kids can have the parents, and upbringing they deserve

 

[Roadrunner000]

Stories like these make me think we should start to regulate who can even have children...there are so many idiots that shouldn't be allowed to pro-create..The gov't rewards these idiots the more kids they have but doesn't do anything when they don't take care of them...just sends them a check so they don't have to work and then gives them a break on the taxes too...
There are very few people who would do what your doing so I wish you luck..family court is a pain in the ass to say the least..i've been involved in those cases and its frustrating because most times the kids end up back in same situation..I hope you are able to make a difference so those kids won't follow in the footsteps of their parents.

 

[Stuffmonger]

I hope I'm not bumping a thread that's too old, but seeing as how the last post was only yesterday as of me writing this, I think its ok.

Having been only recently, umm, evicted, from a terrible situation from father (currently, 17, I was literally kicked out of the house, now living with my mother), I can feel for those kids. Difference being, my father was incredibly wealthy, but still managed to leech money from my mother for child support, and would spend it all on expensive clothes for his wife. I was literally not allowed to eat much of the time, had to sneak food into my room. I was not given CLOTHES for Christ's sake. Finally, they tired of me, so they pretty much literally kicked me out on the streets when I tried to stand up for (autistic) brother against their abuses. Unfortunately, he, and my sister are still having to deal with their ridiculousness. Anyhow, my point in writing was all of this, is to say, that trust me, you have a HUGE legal hurdle ahead of you. My mom has been trying to get custody of us for over 5 years, with no luck. Despite numerous documented examples of abuse, he STILL has legal custody of all of us (including me). In essence, when you have money, you can throw as much as you want in any direction and basically always get your way. Now, I know your sister is not rich or anything, but I've seen too many examples of courts refusing to take away children from homes of blatant drug addicts. I wish you the best of luck, and I truly hope everything works out, so these kids can have the parents, and upbringing they deserve

I have one word for you to simplify everything...
Kidnapping.







...I kid, I kid... call off the FBI already.

 

[Tighe]

I'm thinking a covert operation to steal that XBOX is in order...

Maybe she will get a RROD. She will probably use her welfare check to buy a new one.

 

[Tighe]

I will say it is amazing how quickly kids adapt. You should have seen how crazy they acted. Running around when going out to eat, doing what they want, etc. Now that we have them and the mom is not around. They have a bedtime, get up at a certain time, say please, yes sir, no sir, yes mam, no mam. I mean they still act a little crazy some, but they are kids and that is expected to some extent. But whenever they spend time with her, they start acting the bad way again and we have to start all over.

Really it is a good thing you are doing, kids shouldn't have to live in conditions like that. If they stayed there they would probably grow up to be just like their mom. What kind of life is that?

 

[88mph]

I'm glad that you are stepping up to the plate. You will make a huge difference in the lives of those children.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get back to work--so the government can tax my earnings and cut a check for your sister in law so she can continue neglecting her children with her CoD addiction.

 

[Wolfinator]

You are a good man.

 

[Umortal377]

Figured I would give an update here. My wife had court yesterday for the kids. My wife now has full physical custody of the kids. Her sister is mad, she only got supervised visitation. Now the wife is gonna go apply for TANF (like child support) and food stamps. I have never had to get govt assistance before. But I guess I am looking at it this way, with us having them, the govt is paying less then what they did to my sister in law, and its cheaper then Social Services taken the kids. And TANF has to be paid back by the actual parents.

 

[Tighe]

Figured I would give an update here. My wife had court yesterday for the kids. My wife now has full physical custody of the kids. Her sister is mad, she only got supervised visitation. Now the wife is gonna go apply for TANF (like child support) and food stamps. I have never had to get govt assistance before. But I guess I am looking at it this way, with us having them, the govt is paying less then what they did to my sister in law, and its cheaper then Social Services taken the kids. And TANF has to be paid back by the actual parents.

I am anti-welfare for adults, but when it comes to kids, they must be well fed and live in good conditions so they have every opportunity for a good future. So get whatever assistance you can to help raise those children.

What I don't understand is how you are eligible for TANF if you are employed. Are you sure it is TANF that your will be receiving? Also keep in mind that you can only use TANF for 60 months for your entire life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporary_Assistance_for_Needy_Families

 

[Umortal377]

I am not sure how it all works. My sister in law use to get TANF when she was married and her husband had a job. She was getting it up till just now, and she has been getting it for years. So not sure if they really enforce the rules or not. Since neither one of the actual parents work, TANF is the best bet right now since we get the money regardless and they have to pay the govt back, we dont. If it runs out, we will just go for child support. I was surprised we qualify for anything since I make ok money, but since technically I am supporting 8 people on one income, I get it from what it sounds like. My wife has an appt next week for it with Social Services next week. I have never been on any sort of givt assistance so I dont know whats all involved.

If we are having to take care of there kids, the parents are gonna at least pay for them one way or another. They are not gonna be living the easy life if I have anything to say about it.

I am anti-welfare for adults, but when it comes to kids, they must be well fed and live in good conditions so they have every opportunity for a good future. So get whatever assistance you can to help raise those children.

What I don't understand is how you are eligible for TANF if you are employed. Are you sure it is TANF that your will be receiving? Also keep in mind that you can only use TANF for 60 months for your entire life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporary_Assistance_for_Needy_Families

 

[joeycuda]

Best of luck to you, sounds like you're doing a great thing.

 

[Tighe]

I am not sure how it all works. My sister in law use to get TANF when she was married and her husband had a job. She was getting it up till just now, and she has been getting it for years. So not sure if they really enforce the rules or not. Since neither one of the actual parents work, TANF is the best bet right now since we get the money regardless and they have to pay the govt back, we dont. If it runs out, we will just go for child support. I was surprised we qualify for anything since I make ok money, but since technically I am supporting 8 people on one income, I get it from what it sounds like. My wife has an appt next week for it with Social Services next week. I have never been on any sort of givt assistance so I dont know whats all involved.

If we are having to take care of there kids, the parents are gonna at least pay for them one way or another. They are not gonna be living the easy life if I have anything to say about it.

I totally support what you are doing! I am sure those kids will really appreciate it too! Nothing better than a safe loving home. From what you described of their parents you should keep them in your custody as long as you can.

 

[Umortal377]

Man, we are totally p!ssed right now. My wife just left social services. Even though we have custody of the kids, they will not transfer over the medical for the kids to us. They said we need to work something out with her? Do they not understand she doesnt have custody for a reason. If she did was she was suppose to, we wouldnt have them. And she still gets to keep TANF as well even though she has none of the kids. What the hell? She gets all the benefits still, yet has no kids to take care of.

My wife is so upset right now since everyone wants us to work with her sister, yet her sister doesnt want to give us anything. She even gave us the wrong SSN for one of the kids so we registered him for school with the wrong one. My wife is about to give up and tell Social Services we cant do this anymore. All these people and services that wanted these kids out of the situation and said they would help, none of them are around now.

 

[Zud]

My wife is about to give up and tell Social Services we cant do this anymore. All these people and services that wanted these kids out of the situation and said they would help, none of them are around now.

Don't give up on these kids or they will be lost forever. It will be a struggle, but in the end I feel things will work out for you and your family. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[RedWolfJC]

Man, we are totally p!ssed right now. My wife just left social services. Even though we have custody of the kids, they will not transfer over the medical for the kids to us. They said we need to work something out with her? Do they not understand she doesnt have custody for a reason. If she did was she was suppose to, we wouldnt have them. And she still gets to keep TANF as well even though she has none of the kids. What the hell? She gets all the benefits still, yet has no kids to take care of.

My wife is so upset right now since everyone wants us to work with her sister, yet her sister doesnt want to give us anything. She even gave us the wrong SSN for one of the kids so we registered him for school with the wrong one. My wife is about to give up and tell Social Services we cant do this anymore. All these people and services that wanted these kids out of the situation and said they would help, none of them are around now.

What do you mean exactly that they won't transfer the medical over to you? I'm assuming the kids were on medicaid, is that what you mean? They won't send you their medicaid card? Can you go to the local DCFS/HHS whatever its called now, and request a duplicate card for the kids when they have an appointment?

As far as the TANF, yeah I would assume since she's not working she would still get it, but I would think it would be reduced?

 

[RedWolfJC]

don't give up on these kids or they will be lost forever. It will be a struggle, but in the end i feel things will work out for you and your family. I'll keep you in my prayers.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

+1

 

[Umortal377]

What do you mean exactly that they won't transfer the medical over to you? I'm assuming the kids were on medicaid, is that what you mean? They won't send you their medicaid card? Can you go to the local DCFS/HHS whatever its called now, and request a duplicate card for the kids when they have an appointment?

As far as the TANF, yeah I would assume since she's not working she would still get it, but I would think it would be reduced?

They wont put the medical cards in our name or give us copies. They told us we needed to work with the sister on this? What is the point of custody if we cant do what is needed for the kids? Her food stamps will be reduced, but I think she still gets the full amount of TANF.

My wife is gonna tell her today when she stops by she needs the medical cards, SS cards, birth certs, etc. If she doesnt have them, she needs to go get them and dont come back to the house without it. My wife has full control over visitiation so she can tell her to not come by.

My wife wont let me get involve. I want to at this point, but she knows once I do, its all over. I will have so much stuff going on, her sister would probably end up in jail or on the run.


And for the other comments, my wife hasnt said anything else about not keeping the kids. I think it was just something she said to meet in the heat of the moment. She was so mad, she was crying. Thats when I know she is about to explode. If her sister was around then, my wife would be in jail for assault.

 

[MarkMan]

Dude as hard as it is you are doing a great thing here. Seriously!

You can't put a price on what you are giving those kids and someday when they move out and become productive adults you'll be able to sit back and have the satisfaction that it was you and your wife that made it possible. Not to mention the love you'll likely get in return cause the kids won't forget what you did, although you might not get a 'Thank-you' until they are in their 20s and get grow out of their teenage years mentality

my hat is off to you man and you are in my prayers.

 

[RedWolfJC]

They wont put the medical cards in our name or give us copies. They told us we needed to work with the sister on this? What is the point of custody if we cant do what is needed for the kids? Her food stamps will be reduced, but I think she still gets the full amount of TANF.

That's really strange... though it probably works different from state to state, the legal guardian of the children should be the only one to get the medical info... I'm guessing the mom is on the same medicaid card, and the state is probably too lazy to want to go in and change it.
The only other thing I can think of is that they are not really granting "custody" to you, that in the eyes of the state it's a "provisional" custody arrangement or something similar. That would also explain her TANF not being reduced. One of those, "This is your last chance to get your life together" situations that never seem to work out.

Anyway, keep the faith, and know you are doing a good thing.