My reply to him/her/it/whatever
"For that price, It better be in the box, never opened, and include a steak dinner, a dozen roses, all the imported beer one wants, tax, gratuity and a BJ!!
Dude, you are on CRACK! You will never get that. Did you ever here of eBay? Craigslist? See what they (REALISTICALLY) go for on there. You will be pretty disappointed. Sorry Hoss, But whatever get rich quick infomercial you bought in too, took your money.
BTW... I had a pretty bad day at work yesterday, and I want to thank you for your humor. I needed the laugh."