Callout Etiquette

GeekElite

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I'm curious: What's the etiquette for calling someone out who was being a douche on CL? I had a negative experience with someone on my local CL after inquiring about a Dig Dug machine, and I'm not sure where the line of "bad" has to be for me to call him out.

I don't want to look like just as big a dick as this guy, but I also had a poor enough experience with him that I don't think anyone should deal with him. How bad does something have to be to make it acceptable to post the conversation for all to see?

Thanks.
 
well

for us to give a input on your side of the story lets hear details.
You can go without giving names, locations and give him a "richard hardon" nick name.
worse you can do is give details and find out their a member here..
more than likely not, but it does happen :)
I'm curious: What's the etiquette for calling someone out who was being a douche on CL? I had a negative experience with someone on my local CL after inquiring about a Dig Dug machine, and I'm not sure where the line of "bad" has to be for me to call him out.

I don't want to look like just as big a dick as this guy, but I also had a poor enough experience with him that I don't think anyone should deal with him. How bad does something have to be to make it acceptable to post the conversation for all to see?

Thanks.
 
Facts of the matter are important. There is your side and then there is the truth.. Feel free to vent your side.

If the guy is really a douche, it will cost him in the long run. He will have a hard time selling his game. If you can rise above it, you can probably get the game for a great price.
 
Yeah, the price was the issue. The story goes like this:

This guy posted a Dig Dug machine for $500. It sat on CL for at least 3 weeks without selling, then I saw him re-post it for $450. Another Dig Dug (which I unfortunately barely missed out on) went in the same area for $300. After missing the $300 machine, I sent the following e-mail to the first seller:

"Is the price on this machine negotiable? The same machine just sold out of <<town name withheld to protect the innocent>> for $300, and one went on CL a couple of months ago for $325 in <<a nearby state>>. I really want one, but I'm not sure I'm willing to pay $450. Let me know if the price is negotiable, and we can figure out a time for me to come look at it. I'd be available this weekend, and if we can come to an agreement about the price I'd be able to transport it as well.

Thanks!"


Here's the response I received:

"This is a toy, I listed it for what I expect to get out of it, for any less I'll sit on it and list it on ebay for $600."

I'll pause here and get people's opinions before I continue (the story doesn't end here). I will say that this response really pissed me off. I constructed a very rude response which my wife then talked me out of sending, and helped me re-write it in a much more measured tone.

How would you feel if you got the response above?
 
I wouldn't feel offended. What he said doesn't seem out of line to me. Keep watching to see if the price drops. If it does and you are interested, set up another email account and contact him about the game.
 
I think it boils down to people just lacking communication etiquette these days. His reply would have seemed a lot more civil if he'd just started it with, "I appreciate the offer, but...".

As it is, the guy sounded like he was personally offended that you'd had the audacity to ask if he was willing to haggle. I probably would have had some choice words for him, too.
 
As it is, the guy sounded like he was personally offended that you'd had the audacity to ask if he was willing to haggle. I probably would have had some choice words for him, too.

That is actually quite true. After I responded to him, his second response proved the intent behind the e-mail I quote above.

Let me preface by saying this: In hindsight, my response (even the more "measured" one) could probably have been handled better. I'm not denying my own mistakes, but something just irks the crap out of me when people "threaten" to put something on E-Bay when someone tries to negotiate a bit or asks a simple question. Pet peeve, I guess.

Here's how I responded:

"After seeing the same machine sell for much cheaper in the immediate area, I was simply asking if your price was flexible. I'm disappointed that rather than simply politely informing me that your price was not negotiable, you decided to send me such a rude response.

Had you been polite, I'd have been willing to discuss your price of $450 and I'd have been able to come pick it up tonight. I would even have discussed purchasing your Pole Position II cab. After your handling of this situation, however, I'm no longer interested in purchasing anything from you. I will make sure that any collectors that I know see this response and will avoid dealing with you in the future.

Good luck selling your machine."


I know, I know. Probably a bit of an overreaction. My original e-mail - before the re-write - contained a lot more expletives. Anyway, here's his second response:

"Not trying to be rude but I answer about three emails a day on games asking first all about the game and after wasting an hour of what I'll call email tag it comes down to them wanting half off. Most collectors that I've delbt with and am not going to mention any names but I personally find to be rather cheap and everytime I seem to pick up a game from a collector they almost always have unmentioned issues. But your more than welcome to take it personally though and make an effort to polute my reputation. I'm sure that'll work well for both of us."

Thoughts?
 
personally i think the guy is fine, and u kinda came off a little nasty..... id let it go, maybe say somehting back like sorry if i got off on the wrong foot, bleh
 
Just let it go- it didn't hurt to ask if he'd go cheaper. He wouldn't. He had a stupid snappy 'ebay' response, but why should it bother you?

You know what? I think your response- 'I MIGHT have paid the full amount, but now I SURELY won't' is pretty childish.

It sounds like you would really like the game and you MAY be willing to pay his price. Why don't you just show up and look at it. Then you can judge if it's worth his full asking price. Negotiation should take place when you're both ready to seal the deal. Be ready to walk away with it or walk away.

If you've got the money to spend, consider it. You may wind up with a cheaper one down the road, and you may NEVER see a nicer one in your area. Do whatever you can live with.

There are only a couple of games I've kicked myself for not buying. There are also only a couple of times I felt like I overpaid.

Good luck- he's not a douche for coming back to you and you're not a douche for asking if he'd consider less. Don't make a big deal out of it.

Kerry
 
Cool cool. Thanks for the responses, guys. I appreciate it! :)

It's always good to get an outside perspective. Maybe I was just a bit sandy that day. Oh well.
 
you have not sold anything before on CL have you? If you did you would get emails from all kinds of people. There are some who think its cool to offer 1/2 of whatever price you list a game at. then there are others who think no game is worth more than $150. The worst are the ones, who say they want it come and see it and then bust out I can only afford $xxx. Add in the tire kickers and flakes and all the other fun..

If you would have emailed me, my thoughts would have been F-off A-hole.. But I would have responded with no thanks, the game is worth that. I would not have listed the dig dug for $500 unless it was near mint. I think dig dug is a $300-$500 game. Last one I sold was for $350.. My thoughts would have been that you might have faked a CL add to try to get me to lower the price..

But your respose was child like. I am going to run home and tell mommie your were mean to me and she is going to call all the neighborhood kids to say your a meanie...

If you ask me, your mostly at fault. You can't let go of the fact you saw one forsale for $300. That does not make all dig dugs worth $300... And look at it this way, The one for $300 sold fast(or you would have gotten it). So that says the market for one in your area is more than $300. $450 is not that far off..

Next time be honest. State the facts, let the seller know what you can afford and don't waste his time. The answer will be yes, no or counter offer. If you had stayed on the higher ground, you would have been in the right. But as it stands, I think your more of a douche than the seller..
 
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you have not sold anything before on CL have you? If you did you would get emails from all kinds of people. There are some who think its cool to offer 1/2 of whatever price you list a game at. then there are others who think no game is worth more than $150. The worst are the ones, who say they want it come and see it and then bust out I can only afford $xxx. Add in the tire kickers and flakes and all the other fun..

I sell things on CL all the time, and I'm always either A) very polite or B) non-responsive to anyone that e-mails me, period. I do my best to never make assumptions about a buyer's intentions, and if I feel myself getting upset about a contact, I either use a canned (very polite) refusal response or I choose not to respond. Unfortunately, in this case, I didn't take that attitude responding to a seller, and I should have.

If you would have emailed me, my thoughts would have been F-off A-hole.. But I would have responded with no thanks, the game is worth that. I would not have listed the dig dug for $500 unless it was near mint. I think dig dug is a $300-$500 game. Last one I sold was for $350.. My thoughts would have been that you might have faked a CL add to try to get me to lower the price..

This is an extremely cynical attitude. If these are your immediate thoughts as a seller, I now understand why a buyer (like me) has the exact same type of cynical thoughts about sellers who respond the way this guy did. I saw his response and my immediate reaction was also F-off A-hole.

But your respose was child like. I am going to run home and tell mommie your were mean to me and she is going to call all the neighborhood kids to say your a meanie...

Already admitted. No need to dredge it up again.

If you ask me, your mostly at fault.

How can I be mostly at fault for his initial response? My first e-mail was very polite and just asking a question. I hadn't even made an offer yet, so how can it be my fault that this seller made an assumption about my attitude toward the game, or assumed that I was trying to lowball him?

To be clear, I'm not defending my re-pop, only my initial e-mail.

You can't let go of the fact you saw one forsale for $300. That does not make all dig dugs worth $300... And look at it this way, The one for $300 sold fast(or you would have gotten it). So that says the market for one in your area is more than $300. $450 is not that far off..

That's not even remotely what I was saying. I was letting him know my mindset and asking if he was flexible, not saying "Because of this, I'll only pay that." Even if my initial e-mail were misinterpreted that way, if he wasn't willing to accept a lower offer, a simple "No thanks, the price is firm." would have sufficed.

Next time be honest. State the facts, let the seller know what you can afford and don't waste his time. The answer will be yes, no or counter offer. If you had stayed on the higher ground, you would have been in the right.

Again, I don't think I'm at fault for the initial response. I was honest, I let the seller know that I was interested in negotiating if he was open to it. The question "Is this price negotiable?" doesn't mean "Will you go super cheap?" - it simply means "Is this price negotiable?". If a seller assumes the former and responds with venom, then it seems to me that they are just as at fault as buyers who try to lowball.

But as it stands, I think your more of a douche than the seller..

Thanks for that. After admitting that I may just have been in an off mood that day already, I appreciate being called a douche. Well played.

A point of interest I thought I'd bring up: Everyone I know that I've shown this e-mail thread to has the exact opposite opinions of the responders here. When I talk to people in person about this guy's responses, the first reaction is "What a jackass."

P.S. - I've gotten what I asked for out of this thread, so this will be my last response. I don't intend to get into a flame war over this.
 
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How can I be mostly at fault for his initial response? My first e-mail was very polite and just asking a question. I hadn't even made an offer yet, so how can it be my fault that this seller made an assumption about my attitude toward the game, or assumed that I was trying to lowball him?

When people offer me less for my stuff (which happens all the time as I am generally pretty high-priced) I have no problem with it. But when they first try to justify their offer by giving me data supposedly proving that my prices are too high, I find it highly irritating.

I don't care if someone else sold the game I'm selling yesterday for 10% of my price. I don't care if I bought it yesterday for 10% of my price. I'm asking what I'm asking, and if a buyer wants to offer less I'm open to anything. But it rubs me the wrong way when people try to convince me that I'm asking too much rather than just offering less.

So I think the guy's replies are completely in line and not rude or offensive at all.

Just my two cents.

John
 
I sell things on CL all the time, and I'm always either A) very polite or B) non-responsive to anyone that e-mails me, period. I do my best to never make assumptions about a buyer's intentions, and if I feel myself getting upset about a contact, I either use a canned (very polite) refusal response or I choose not to respond. Unfortunately, in this case, I didn't take that attitude responding to a seller, and I should have.



This is an extremely cynical attitude. If these are your immediate thoughts as a seller, I now understand why a buyer (like me) has the exact same type of cynical thoughts about sellers who respond the way this guy did. I saw his response and my immediate reaction was also F-off A-hole.



Already admitted. No need to dredge it up again.



How can I be mostly at fault for his initial response? My first e-mail was very polite and just asking a question. I hadn't even made an offer yet, so how can it be my fault that this seller made an assumption about my attitude toward the game, or assumed that I was trying to lowball him?

To be clear, I'm not defending my re-pop, only my initial e-mail.



That's not even remotely what I was saying. I was letting him know my mindset and asking if he was flexible, not saying "Because of this, I'll only pay that." Even if my initial e-mail were misinterpreted that way, if he wasn't willing to accept a lower offer, a simple "No thanks, the price is firm." would have sufficed.



Again, I don't think I'm at fault for the initial response. I was honest, I let the seller know that I was interested in negotiating if he was open to it. The question "Is this price negotiable?" doesn't mean "Will you go super cheap?" - it simply means "Is this price negotiable?". If a seller assumes the former and responds with venom, then it seems to me that they are just as at fault as buyers who try to lowball.



Thanks for that. After admitting that I may just have been in an off mood that day already, I appreciate being called a douche. Well played.

A point of interest I thought I'd bring up: Everyone I know that I've shown this e-mail thread to has the exact opposite opinions of the responders here. When I talk to people in person about this guy's responses, the first reaction is "What a jackass."

P.S. - I've gotten what I asked for out of this thread, so this will be my last response. I don't intend to get into a flame war over this.

Don't know what your intial response really was.. I saw what you wrote it was, Does not mean it was the truth. It might have been ok, might have been a little asstastic. No matter, I will say I am sorry I called you a douche for the 1st part, but you earned it in spades for the 2nd part...

As for why you get a different response for others, there are many reasons... Here are a few I can think of off the top of my head..

1: people here know the hobby. Those that sell stuff know what people are like. Maybe they have had that a-hole call/deal/situation.. Any way you slice it, it seems pretty clear to me you were at first paritially wrong/offensive and then went totally wrong.

2: Most people don't like confrontation, so they will play the yes man to your questions. How many times do people show you a picture of their baby and all you can think of is boy, that kid sure got hit by the ugly stick.. 99% of the time people will say something nice..

the reality is people don't like to hear the truth. I am sure you think what you did was ok. You do realize you stepped over the line with the 2nd reply. But I bet you thought it was a minor step.. Personally, I think it was major leap.. You took a poor reply by a seller made in a private conversation and made it into something major and then tried to slam the guy in public for doing what to you?

Now if you were to man up and email the seller that you were way out of line, then maybe there would be some hope for you..
 
Yeah, the price was the issue. The story goes like this:

This guy posted a Dig Dug machine for $500. It sat on CL for at least 3 weeks without selling, then I saw him re-post it for $450. Another Dig Dug (which I unfortunately barely missed out on) went in the same area for $300. After missing the $300 machine, I sent the following e-mail to the first seller:

"Is the price on this machine negotiable? The same machine just sold out of <<town name withheld to protect the innocent>> for $300, and one went on CL a couple of months ago for $325 in <<a nearby state>>. I really want one, but I'm not sure I'm willing to pay $450. Let me know if the price is negotiable, and we can figure out a time for me to come look at it. I'd be available this weekend, and if we can come to an agreement about the price I'd be able to transport it as well.

Thanks!"


Here's the response I received:

"This is a toy, I listed it for what I expect to get out of it, for any less I'll sit on it and list it on ebay for $600."

I'll pause here and get people's opinions before I continue (the story doesn't end here). I will say that this response really pissed me off. I constructed a very rude response which my wife then talked me out of sending, and helped me re-write it in a much more measured tone.

How would you feel if you got the response above?

It probably wasn't the best response he could have sent, but definately within boundries. If he doesn't want to sell the game for lower, he doesn't have to and can sit on it. I would have responded differently, but that is just me. You, however, should have cut your losses at that and ended it there. Your wife did a good thing talking you out of sending a nasty e-mail. You aren't going to change his mind and you are just going to waste your time trying to write witty e-mails to make yourself feel better. Let it go...
 
Don't worry about.I personally wouldn't pay that much for one.I bought one in great shape for $339 on ebay last year.It had a high score save kit installed and had significant burn in but the monitor just needed capping otherwise it worked fine.I can't remember the last time I saw a Dig Dug on ebay go for higher than what I paid for mine.I don't think I've ever seen one go for $500-$600 on ebay although I'm sure they have.

I'd just wait it out.Eventually another one will come along at a better price.It may take a while,but it will.
 
I always get a good laugh at how much people can get offended over an offer.

I listed my 60gb PS3 w/ games and extra controller a few months ago on C/L and only listed "make me an offer" for the asking price.
Got a few "How much do you want for it"s, 1 offer was a xbox 360 w/RROD, and a laptop that had a broken LCD screen ....lol....and yes the PS3 was in mint shape....

Now that's some entertainment :)

I try to never get offended by people who get offended by my lowball offers ;)

Negotiating a price has to start somewhere, if he's too thick headed you probably were better he copped the attitude and told you all you need to know about him.
 
I always get a good laugh at how much people can get offended over an offer.

I listed my 60gb PS3 w/ games and extra controller a few months ago on C/L and only listed "make me an offer" for the asking price.
Got a few "How much do you want for it"s, 1 offer was a xbox 360 w/RROD, and a laptop that had a broken LCD screen ....lol....and yes the PS3 was in mint shape....

Now that's some entertainment :)

I try to never get offended by people who get offended by my lowball offers ;)

Negotiating a price has to start somewhere, if he's too thick headed you probably were better he copped the attitude and told you all you need to know about him.

I think the difference is people selling arcade games have something invested in them, Time, money, memories, ect.. You ps3 is probably inferior to the new one at the store..
 
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